while reminiscing the present..
Friday, November 24, 2006
its 1.35am now..and i'm back from DnD.. so early u ppl must wonder...
it's rather sad... this time i can say i've gave it my best shot... and well i speculate that the reason why she doesn't wanna accept is that there are too mani guys fallin for her and she does not wan to hurt them... but my silly girl...in relationships everyone gets hurt... its jus how bad..... well while in the taxi when i got her reply, i could hear my heart shatter... i sat there and jus listened to the music and God had to put me in a taxi with the uncle tuning in to class 95 and the songs played was " ghost of me and you" and a love song sand by a duet.....the songs began exactly after the reply with the song "ghost of me and you" "how am i suppose to live with all these wounds...." but i hav to admit todae she treated me differently...i reali felt very close to her... everytime she looks at me, i feel great... when she smiles..... my lips jus swing up....... while walking bac home after sending her home... tears jus flood my eyes and my vision went very poor....i was walking blind for a few seconds.... i was jus very disappointed with myself... i guess it can't be help.... so many guys are fallin for her.... and there's nothing i can do.... i'm tired, confused and very demoralized esp after 3 stupid years of waiting and 1 year of wooing.... i think this time i took it a little harder than before.... tml is class gathering... dun wori guys...i'll put on my best smile... at least..i'll try....
brothers and sisters thanks so much for your support but i guess she jus feels that i'm not the one?? i dunno..i reali dun.... but i still wanna thank all my bothers for your support...thanks alot for standing by me all these while....i love u guys lots!!! i dun wan to think anymore...i'm going to bathe and then sleep... nites all
"I cried when I had no shoes, but I stopped when I saw a man with no feet"
=[SaIn(t)aNiC]=™ || 1:40 AM
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
_Feelings...
today....i wanna talk about FEELINGS...
as usual everyting that i sae is fully my opinion unless stated otherwise....
Feelings, emotions..its someting we all have....happiness, sadness, anger, hatred, jealousy, greed...these are things that are fixed in us from the moment we were created.... its not a sin to hav these feelings(fact)....but its what we do with them that makes the difference...such as for me, whenever i'm stressed, worn-out or anyother negative feelings...u wun find me beating someone up or going to the ocean to SSCCRREEAAMMM!!.. nope.. when i'm down, u'd find me either at the basketball court or roller blading...cause this is how i manage my emotions.... same as how some ppl deviod themselves of their emotions by gaming, some by studying, others by vulgarities....its a natural ting, someting that has been instilled in us since we were born due to influences... but we could always change for the better... defination of "better"?? well... this is where one's religion comes in...
For teens, the most common feeling which we feel is loneliness... the feeling of acceptance by friends..... for some of us, its an easy job to be accepted..why??? because we are born with the ablilty to socialize.. whereas some ppl are born and brought up.. with poor communication skiils...thus, i feel that we who are advantaged shld help the disadvantaged....because of their inability to socialize, they turn to anyone or sometimes anything that would help them feel accepted.. in some cases, lead to bad company.. in others, lead to some ppl turning to books, which builds the world around them....
i would like to quote a phrase Blessed Mother Theresa said
" we don't have to do great things, just little things with great love."
for those in my school,FTPSS.. remember when mdm Rozaina took one person out and then told the rest of us to think of "stabbing, cutting, beating" that person, then that person would not be able to move his hand up??? its actually the same theory.. when u do something, no matter how little.. with great love... ppl can feel it..... using an imagery of how ur love for that person( does not have to be puppy love) is personifiing the gift.... this itself can be felt...when you do something for the person... dun jus do i blindly... think of the person when u do it, so that with every second that pass while doing that gift, makes that person feel loved...
Giving and Taking is a part and pacel of life, if we give too much, ppl take advantage, if we take too much, we'd lose friends.... thats life... we must be able to balance everything... Life is about balancing everything.... when we give in, we must not give in jus to satisfy the person, we must give in knowing that by doing this it would help that person to learn and grow to his/her fullest potential.. the same with taking, we need to know that when we take, we must deserve it, if not.. do not take it..... we shld onli reap what we sow... not what others has sown....
Always remember that by loving someone, we shld not be wanting that person to become just like us, but we shld help that person grow to his/her fullest potential both emotionally and physically.... and vice-versa....
yupyup...
takkire all...
I'm loving my...
Brothers,
Sisters,
Family,
Besties!P-P-Y
=[SaIn(t)aNiC]=™ || 10:39 PM
Thursday, November 09, 2006
_a little on friendships and relationships..
haha..todae's theme is "
Friendships last forever"
i'd like to make it clear that...what i'm writing about is about how the world is thr my eyes..and whateva i say, if it has offended you, i apologise and my writings do not refer to anyone...its jus my perspective.......
now in this general world...the word "friendship" means differently to different people... we all define it differently..... one could define friendship as having a buddy to talk too...or a shoulder to cry on...or both. In this complex world... to hav a stable friendship, we are required to know what is our friend's defination of a "friendship"... is he/she the type that wants me to chat with him/her often?? or is he/she the type that wants me to pamper or appreciate her/him?? or is he/she the type that jus feels safe by knowing that i am thr for him/her, regardless of all that happens?? thus i'd like to take this chance to type a beautiful phrase sent to me by one of my closest buds
"A true friend is not like the rain that pours and goes... its more like the air, sometimes keeping quiet but is always there.. constantly hangiing around you"
now...back to what i was saying... sometimes most failed friendships and relationships(most of the time) is because we all hav a different perspective of the definition of the meaning of friendship/relationship, therefore i feel that if a person is unable to understand friendship, that person should never enter a relationship...
when a person fully understands what friendship means, he would be able to see that friendship stretches beyond care & concern, beyond smiles.. friendship dives into love.... not Eross love (definition: earthly love, the common love of today, origins: erotic love) but a sacrificial love... a love whereby it does not matter what happens to that person physically, it matters emotionally... a love whereby does not restrict that person but sets the person free and allows that person to grow into his/her potential.... one very good example would be the friendship of me and Li Ling.... believe that even if i do not meet Li Ling for a year... when we meet..we'd still be as close.... this is only an example.... pls do not use this as a comparison because everybody's friendship and relationship is different..i feel that's what makes the philosophers and poets employerable...because they are able to see things differently from others...this makes life interesting...
tml, the war is on with Maths pp2.....muahahaha....get ur weapons ready....
(Perry withdraws his calculator) Charge!!!!
Nights....
=[SaIn(t)aNiC]=™ || 10:09 PM
Thursday, October 26, 2006
"When I fall in love, i'd take my time...there's no need to hurry when i'm making up my mind..."
i quote this from the song " The remedy" by Jason Mraz...
yupyup..i've got a request for all my BESTies and Sisters and ESPECIALLY MY
BROTHERS!!( understand Jing Zhi??)
haha....if possible..i mean do distract me frm -- can...?? at least till after Os bah...... yes, i knw some of u are tellin me to face it...dun run frm it.....but i assure u....after Os..i'll definately face it!!
yupyup..pls as ur brother, i'm asking u all..thanks alot....haha.... i feel great alread...
recently..everyting is going super fast...studying in school almost everyday... 7 days to LIT EXAM!!!! haha...i'm very worried..Mrs Tan!! we haven seen u for SUPER long!!! do pray for us yeah????..haha.... yupyup....
and i end off with......
My brothers: thanks so much for always supporting me and lending me ur ears, and thanks for withstanding my lameness....ahaha.....yupyup..thx
My sisters: great appreciation for all of u...esp. Li Ling and Ain hahah... yupyup..thanks for being thr for me...Ling: we'll go to war together!!Ain: I'm waiting for our photo after Os!!!... and to all my sisters... knowing that u're there for me..gives me great comfort!!! yupyup!!!
My Besties: haha...to PatRINA: yupyup..take it easy k?? now no more KL trip le...over the HOLIs we meet the band seniors then go out?? east coast aight??? haha...yupyup..then we'll overnight there...okok???haha... to Wen Ting: haha..hey!! takkire of urself k?? any problems or worries...feel free to call me...yupyup..patpat..u too.....i'm free for my besties...24/7!!!yupyup!!
Lots of love for all my Friends!!!!
takkire!!
=[SaIn(t)aNiC]=™ || 8:43 PM
Monday, October 16, 2006
Latias is cute...haha...
i wanna SCREAM!!!!!..i'm tired....haha....todae was a long day....hiaz...was in school from 9 to 9..like working liddat...haiz... tml would be the same ting too...i shld stop maths for sometime... yes!! tml is SS and er.....i dunno..hahax....lol....ahaha....yupyup.... Pray pray pray for world peace....haiz..seeing the world crumbling is jus crest-falling.... yup...c'mon everyone lets..pray hard!!! for world peace and for the haze to subside in Singapore.....yeah..i think i'm gonna search for tabs for
Red Chrys then i'll bathe and go sleep...haiz...super tired...... but no matter ghow tired i am... her smile jus fires me up...haaaha....lol....
Do you believe in fairytales?
Nitez all...!!!!
I love my sisters so much!!
(Ain, LiLing and Azu, did i miss anione??)
=[SaIn(t)aNiC]=™ || 9:53 PM
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
yay!! new blades at last....
SABA, series 6000, aluminium frame, wheels hardness:85A, wheels size :80
WHOO HOO!!!!haha...love my blades...furthermore its blue in colour....yay!!!
well all the material happiness aside....
i feel empty...yesyes...i've been doing so much for ct.. but yet.... i dun feel her response.... and i'm getting tired... as what my cousin Eric said.... "there's a limit to everything and if u cross the limit, pack ur bags and move on" its very true... i dun wanna pamper someone that doesn't appreciate.... i like to pamper a girl which would always smile and thank me with a sparkle in her eyes and her super sweet smile...
-------------------------------------------------------------From Mr thief to Miss bad shooter
hey hey....
sorri if i was too straight forward..
guess i was letting my mind think too far=)
i jus wanted to make it clear...
yupyup...
as for D&D...
if ct doesn't go with me..
will u go with me..?
I mean as best friends??
haha... let this be our little chat box....ahahahaaa..
-----------------------------------------------------------------
=[SaIn(t)aNiC]=™ || 8:28 PM
Friday, September 29, 2006
haha....
Aylmer ----- Magnet Chen
Edmund ---- Gigolo Ho
Jing Zhi ---- Casanova Ong
Jun Wen ---- (Haven decided..haha...)
Lewis ---- Playboy Lee
Perry ---- Womanizer Yeo
haha...lol.... we came up with stoopid names..while on the bus to Ice skating at jurong..haaha...we got M.G, G.H, C.O, PL(but Aylmer prefers L.P), and urs truly W.Y....haha..lame shit man....yupyup....haha...and
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BROTHERJING ZHI!
=[SaIn(t)aNiC]=™ || 10:00 PM